Today when I am becoming a woman
the crucial moment
that boundary when you realize
that your body
if you are a biological jinx
will cause you pain. Bingo!
I became a woman
at 11 years old
the thinnest in class
but with sporty musculature
beside me one girl
which looked like that
so the future guys
but still boys
paid attention to her
yes, the breasts
biologically they should
grow, when this happens
they explained to me that
in the special class
but mine didn’t grow much
With years the pain grew
and the number of painkillers
which I took against it.
In that days,
all the boys were jealous
on us girls
because we were
spread from physical
education class
for me those classes
never were bugaboo
but pain was
and will remain the monster
under the bed
which crawls in the night
on the day I got it
and starts to howl inside
while I sleep.
Pain is villigance
to the ultimate limits
to the line which
separates me from others
like you are the monster
because the others
don’t have such pain
and no other
imaginary monsters
are no longer scary for you
you are not even scary
that you became a woman
because you don’t know
yourself what it is
but the pain will teach you
what is scary
and from which one
cannot escape
monster for me
was and will be
that first menarche
because biological lottery
decided that I will be
one of those girls/women
whose body will be
a factory for production
of the pain
without stopping
for 28 years so far.
In the year of the menarche
I stopped to believe
in some things
like for example in god
but pain remains
the unbelievable fact
in which I did not want to
believe, but there wasn’t much choice
because it was the truth
that it is here and won’t leave
because I didn’t have another body.